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Mental Discharge is always looking for talented writers to contribute to our Web site. We have excellent positioning with search engines such as Google and Yahoo! and your published works can be easily found using general search engine keywords. Mental Discharge is spidered several times a week. If you need a platform to get your work out in the open, this is the place to do it.
- Writers must have damn near excellent English and grammar skills.
You must have the brain power of a semi-intelligent human being who actually left an educational institution with a greater amount of knowledge. You don't need to be an English major, but you do need to show you communicate better than a kid suffering from a quivering case of autism.
- Be creative.
Any dipshit can rant and rave. Be sarcastic, original, perverse, outrageous, or offensive. Add elements to your article that make it stand out. Don't bother being politically correct, but don't go off the deep end, either.
- Writers must contribute at least two articles per week.
Content is king. Provide a regular flow of updates to our site and earn respect, fame, and fortune (whenever we can afford to pay you). Make sure your articles aren't a pre-ejaculation (too short) or an insufferable bore (too long).
- HTML and PHP experience is not required.
As a new writer, you will submit your work to the Editor-in-Chief who will review and publish your article. Knowledge in HTML or PHP is not necessary. Send your article directly from your word processor if you'd like. After you've gotten your feet wet, you will be given access to an automated content manager that will allow you to publish articles instantly.
- Graphics skills are not required.
You don't need to have l33t skillz in Paint, Paint Shop Pro, or Photoshop. However, you must at least provide some kind of base graphic material for your article. Don't make the Editor-In-Chief hunt down pictures or media to supplement your article.
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To submit an application, simply click on the "I want to assume this position!" link under your desired position. Write a generalized synopsis of your writing skills, ideas, and how you can contribute to Mental Discharge. Tell us more about you, your background in writing, and send us an article worthy of being published. Keep in mind that writing for Mental Discharge requires a steady commitment. Our goal is to keep the site fresh and updated as much as possible, so if you plan on only sending us an article or two, don't expect a permanent position here.
Currently, Mental Discharge does not generate revenue that can be distributed as compensation for writers. All revenue is solely dedicated to operating costs and advertising. Should this change in the future (and we sure as hell hope it does), all writers will be contacted regarding the implementation of a payment structure.
Thank you for your interest. Please select a position you're interested below.
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• Discharge Article Writers
• Jason Blair-Like News Reporters
Discharge Article Writers contribute articles for the primary sections of the site. These articles include (but are not limited to) "how-to" guides, top xx number lists, rants and raves, or satirical one-sided perspectives on culture and society. Discharge Article Writers must contribute at least two articles per week.
"I want to assume this position!"
Discharge News Writers contribute New York Times-like material to the News section, offering satirical news that was not researched with factual information, nor contains any truth. In other words, you're our own Jason Blair or Dan Rather. Discharge News Writers must contribute at least two articles per week.
"I want to assume this position!"
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