Teach Better Driving with Drive-By Road Rage Signs
By Steven Cleamer- 05.11.2005
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Road rage is a common practice on the streets and highways of America. With more vehicles on the road each year combined with the busy nature of modern life, pulling over to engage in a violent exchange with another driver is cumbersome and time-consuming. Drive-By Road Rage Signs makes your road rage simple and easy, eliminating the inconvenience of a curb side brawl while presenting your angst in a more understandable manner than an ambiguous horn and middle finger. Simply flash a sign appropriate to the occasion at a neighboring driver to let them know that their traffic infraction is not only a disrespect to you, but other drivers among them. Similar products cost up to $19.95, but Mental Discharge is proud to provide these quality signs free of charge.
Help offending drivers take the guess work out of your antagonism without the need for brandishing an unregistered firearm. Each sign has been designed with quality in mind, crafted in stunning 300dpi.
Instructions
Select a desired sign.
Select the sign you want by clicking its corresponding image with your mouse. This act is performed by engaging impulses from your brain to your arm via the nervous system.
Print your desired sign.
Print your selected sign from your printer using your favorite graphics or printing software. Use a thicker posterboard-like paper to prevent flaccidity in your sign.
Present your desired sign.
Show the appropriate sign to its respective driver. Just be sure not to be screwing up traffic yourself while holding a sign outside your car window.
The Pay Attention Dipshit sign is perfect for a driver too busy inside their own head to keep their eyes on surrounding traffic, lights, signs, lane markers, and pedestrians.
Flash the Use a Blinker Moron sign to help a driver who isn't generous enough to share their travel itinerary with you, but will generously help themselves to your lane.
Alternatively, the Turn off Your Blinker Moron sign is to remind the driver who's limited attention span has caused them to forget the turn signal they actuated several moments ago.
Present the Get Off the Cell Phone Cunt sign to help the mom piloting a weaving minivan, SUV, or PT Cruiser while travelling well above or below the posted speed limit.
Whether you're a NASCAR fan or simply wish to arrive at your destination before the end of time itself, use the Speed Up Asshole sign to get things moving.
Show the Your Car Sucks sign while passing an excruciatingly loud riceburner decorated with emblems, fake vents, and a spoiler that can barely make it up a hill.
Express curiosity as to how one has a license with driving skills inferior to that of an infant circumnavigating deck furniture in a Power Wheels with the How Did You Get a Fucking License sign.
Use the Pick a Lane Fucker sign to assist problematic drivers who can't seem to stay in between the lines, eager to be first to get the next red light.
Reveal the Use Your Hazard Lights Idiot sign to assist the driver who is blocking a lane of traffic, but hasn't bothered indicating their vehicle ate a curb and is disabled.
Use the Green Means Go Dick sign for the inconsiderate driver who has all the time in the world and wants to share it with everyone in the same lane behind them.
Present the Stop Picking Your Nose Loser sign to enlighten a driver who thinks nobody is going to notice them digging their brains out behind the transparent windows surrounding them.
Flash the Quit Littering Shithead sign to help the disrespectful driver throwing butts, fast food wrappers, and other materials out of their vehicle realize pavement isn't a substitute for a trash can.
Disclaimer: Mental Discharge is not liable for any consequences that come your way as a result of using these signs. If you crash because you can't hold up a sign and drive at the same time or some gun-toting hip gangster wanna-be blows you away, it's not our fault.
