Meet Your YouTube Commenters
By Marcus Caughcus- 02.03.2009
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Congratulations! You've created a fantastic piece of work on YouTube that's finally getting the attention it deserves. Now that you've been featured on the main page, expect fans and subscriptions to start rolling in. More importantly, you're about to receive a huge number of responses to your video. Let's meet your YouTube audience by exploring real correspondence left by actual commenters.
The Offender
Despite watching your video and taking the time to offer a response to it, an Offender won't offer any useful constructive criticism, but instead simply insult you by using some form of foul or offensive language. This endeavor is executed with many words spelled incorrectly, especially smaller ones, through grossly improper grammar. Nonetheless, you won't really be insulted because their limited intellect will have already done a fantastic job of absolving their relevance.
SuperJoshFilms
fagat
Xelement18
your a dumbass
dekeetrunescape
Am I the FIRST! Guy to mention you are all NIGGERS and America is full of dumb morons with the lowest IQ imaginable because they are all GAY.
maddiepoodle
i think your an asshole
The Spammer
There isn't a single video on YouTube that can escape the escapades of a Spammer. Their comments are nothing more than fruitless attempts to endorse their own material for attaining greater popularity or to make a few bucks off uncreative advertisements. Such comments will profess a greater talent outside of the ability to post hundreds of desperate pleas across YouTube every single day, but succumbing to their petitions ultimately won't reveal any.
TheHeathenz
hey could you watch my new vid "Hollywood Ball" and tell me what you honestly think?
potentialgrowsFANs
Gather round Boys and Girls...
Follow me the pie piper(blowing my sound stick thingie)..
I have someone for you all to see and hear..
She is rhythm,style,and swagg..
Not too bad on the eyes either..
Everything about her is unconventional..
Help spread the word..so she can get signed..
Blah,blah,blah..i could talk all night..BUT..
Come check her out in my favorites...
greythomo94
=)
please view me and my friends channel and watch our vids!! comment and subscribe =)
xxo.
songwriter889
Hey guys, comment on my new song! <3
The Laugher
There is no chance of constructive contribution to your video comments from a Laugher because they're literally too busy typing it out incessantly. What would ordinarily be a linguistic expression of appreciation or joy from watching your content is instead supplemented with exclamation marks, character smilies, hahas, and ROFLs.
Kingberk104
hahaha!
HeavenLeighMe
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE THHIIISSS GUUYYY!!!!! He isss soooooo funny!!!!! LMFAO! and smart. =D
Charlieyo7
lmao
yomamm345
hahahha you make me laugh!!
The Advisor
An Advisor will dispense important guidance as they are not only more clearly knowledgeable in the subject matter of your video and its public response, but the personal lives of complete strangers as well. You and those commenting on your video will be directed to explore the great outdoors or encouraged to socialize with others. These orders are made directly from a throne of accomplishment saturated in the combined odors of Taco Bell farts and a poorly maintained basement furnace.
AppalachianAmer1can
SolarVampire, Um...you really take youtube seriously. LOL It obvious at the fact you allow dumb comment on here to offend you. here is an idea..go outside and take a walk...breathe some fresh, and maybe try to find a girlfriend, or a boyfriend whatever..ya know but seriously get a life =)
ohhdardy
ohh my goodness, what in the fucking world is this blasphemy!!! Do something usefully with your self and stick a bike pump up your ass and start pumping, hopefully shit dribble from your mouth, and if it does then that explains alot.
hoss2468
You sir, are an imbecile and a "younoob". Whether you act like this with alarming freuquency or you had an overdose off an anonomous drug or illegal substance.. This comment it slightly apalling. I do not even wish to fathom were you got the will to post an idiotic comment such as this.... Do every youtuber a favor, and snap your keyboard in half.
sandidog1
do you have a life? it seems like a grown man (well what seemed to be) would want to spend more time on useful things instead of mocking a girls you tube video.... in which she doesn't have a beard....
The Racist
Don't be intimidated or fearful of the derogatory responses commonly employed by a Racist. They're not going to burn a cross in your front yard, make you switch seats on a bus, or demand you use the other restroom. As a pussy, their torment is strictly implemented behind the safety and security of a computer. They've recently discovered popular black comedy that's been around for more than 30 years and just watched their first episode of The Chappelle Show.
SayHi2YourMomForMe
Its funny cause they are white, only white people are funny. Not blacks or yellows
gaynigerfrmoutrspace
kike propaganda
h0a9oeuh98id
obama is only half nigger, stop feeling so proud of yourselves fattylanders
Castor112
That nigga dark as hell. look like a fuckin ape
The Subtitler
A Subtitler will type out portions of the spoken language in your video as a means to assist you in creating subtitles, should you desire to take your amazing work to the next level and publish it on disc, such as DVD or Blu-ray. How they came to assume you wanted this work done and why they perform it free of charge will always remain a mystery.
Phase95
Chocolate rain. Charlie dip mah finger WHAT WHAT in my but, THIS IS SPARTA, Lebrio Jenkens! Snakes on a plane angry german kid flying spaghetti monster! NINTENDO 64
soon2besecurity
"this is popular?... so popular that a video of you reacting to it would also be popular"
pirategirl4ev
Exactly! HAHA! Its effin' hilarious because it is so true! "I hear a thousand idiots typing first as fast as they can."
"well surely people must write other things on the internet. What do they post after first?"
"Second, third, and so on until finally they grow weary of numerals and begin to compare the topic at hand to Natzis or homosexual intercourse."
SO TRUE! ROTFL!!!!!!
Zoey10133
lmao ** Hey hold up * * WHAT!!!!* *snap* lmao ** F it Tucker. Happy mother's day mom tucker want's me humpin hes shoulder* PUT DOWN THE YARD STICK!!!!! ** ** please come out of the bath room..** xD so funny * * Brad i'm tellin mom!!!! **** thank you.. xD
The Retard
There is no sense to the commentary provided by a Retard. They aren't replying to another comment, nor posting anything relevant to your video. Inside their damaged skull, a carnival has kicked into high gear where focus, thought, and aptitude haven't received an invitation. They've got an attention span that barely challenges those in comas and express themselves only a manner similar to that of a stroke victim who's mouth is on the verge of leaking a frothy drool.
filli4eva
h wait sorry it in the FUCKING NAME! lol ledgend
iRanntt
the sky is gay.
coltsfan5802022
hairy weiner
GeezuZWalks
gay asian kitten
The Politicizer
A Politicizer will immediately ruin any context of your video by adding pointless and unnecessary political annotations to your comments. They will express this moronic babble through the knowledge and experience amassed over years of consuming unreliable news media seasoned with a pinch of The Daily Show.
Mark0528
I think Obama has the potential to become one of this countries best presidents of all time
saveHolland
Clinton is a greedy GOOF - he loves Arab money !!!!! 911 is Clinton's fault - he's a traitor to America -
freemarketadam
For close to fifteen months now, Barack Obama has been shedding crocodile tears over the state of our economy.
Yet, CNN reports that Obama's 160 million dollar inauguration is the most lavish ever.
This would be Obama's middle finger for the 69,456,897 infinitely ignorant American dupes who bought into the transparently stupid story that there is some difference between him and George W. Bush.
Suckers!!!
uan909s
Cuz of obama, i have hope!
if you fail to agree, then get the hell out of this country, cuz he seems, along with Joe Biden, that they do care for the well being of all. Even if you dont like them, hope they succeed, cuz if they dont, we will c more of 9-11 a lot. Wether its fixed, or really terrorism, it can and will hapen again unless there is change. lets all hope USA gets back on top.
The Conspiracy Theorist
You won't win any battles against a Conspiracy Theorist. They are right, you are wrong, and no amount of education, experience, and evidence can change that. They'll spend several hours each day in a seemingly endless loop rejecting and challenging your logic with Wikipedia and blogs, choking on coffee and wrapped in a mylar blanket to block the signals.
Modelmaterial7
One thing you won't forget is the very very real reality that we're probably about to go into full scale martial law within the upcoming months or less. Congress just passed H.R. 645, to enable all of those Fema Death Camps for people like me. For those that are confused, you can find the video in my videos labeled: REAL UNDERGROUND AMERICAN MARTIAL LAW DEATH. Yea we're fucked quit worrying about 9/11, it was an Inside Job we're well passed that.
9TruthSeeker11
what a couple of dumb ass's You have No clue check the shit out don't know who did it But it Was Not any Muslim.
caz240
This had NOTHING to do with terrorism. This was an inside job straight from the top. It is an art that takes years of training to demolish a building and put it in its foundations;and yet we are expected to believe this happened naturally TWICE!
geemo77
hmmmm.... me thinks 90% of it is the truth! It was an inside job - there is toooo much evidence. Don' spit in the wind man! give it a rest!
The Superstitionist
The agenda of any Superstitionist is simple: take their words and spread them across the Internet. If you do not repeat said words in the time allotted, you'll be plagued with having an additional two to three minutes of free time on your hands for the rest of your life. You've been warned.
sharingankakashi101
In 1342 A Man sacrificed his life in the name of true love. Before he was beheaded he Yelled "monholith deir mistzfah".
Now that you have read these holy words You have 8 hours to repost this on 3 different videos, and you and the love of your dreams will find each other within 8 days If you shall fail this offer will never be available again.
TheDemonHigh
Be honest
If u really like someone right now,
or miss them right at this moment,
or can't get them out of your head,
Then copy and paste this on 10 vvids within 5 minutes,
And whoever you are missing,
Will surprise you tomorow.
hawkershuffle
How sex starts!!!
a smile leads to a laugh a laugh leads to a high 5 a high 5 leads to a hug a hug leads to a kiss a kiss leads 2 a finger a finger leads to a hand a hand leads to a lick a lick leads to a suck a suck leads 2 a fuck.right after u read it, something good will happen at 2:25 tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life!! Whoever breaks this chain will be cursed w/ relationship problems 4-10 years. If you post this on 5 vids in 15 mins, your safe
trystan877
read
Don't laugh at this! Just do it
Start thinking something you really really want cause this is
astounding the person that sent this to me said their wish came true 10
mins after they read the mail so I thought what the heck
You have just been visited by DrSuess's Cat in the? Hat. He will grant
you
one wish
Make your wish when the count down is over
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
MAKE A WISH
Send this to 10 videos within the hour you read this.
If you do, your wish will come true
The Fanatic
As a believer in faith and God, it is the duty of the Fanatic to spread His word of peace, love, and understanding. However, since you are not a believer, your value as a person will be disregarded and in return you shall be condemned, smited, and branded a piece of shit.
koaheart
Woody...I'll waste my life living and beliving that there is a God, so what if I die and find out there isn't one...I've lived a good, honest life. Beats being a corrupt non beliving individual who wastes his life, to die and find out God exists.
cogdala
actually moron it was made by a church.
the story hits home for a ton of people
it saved my parents marriage
grow up
jesus3man
God created STDs to put retards like you in your place beateherman
plumpkin54
How do know that air exists? Because some scientist told you? I'll take my chances and trust the Bible, and the faith that their is a God, because how else can one explain the miracle of birth or how the earth came to be, the trees, the oceans, the animals??? What let me guess you believe in the Big Band Theory or maybe you did evolve from a monkey!
