I Had Your Mom Last Night
By Steven Cleamer- 01.07.2004
-
Share on Twitter or XShare a link to this article on your Twitter (or X or whatever Elon is calling it) feed.
-
Share on FacebookShare a link to this article on your Facebook feed.
-
Submit to RedditPost the URL to this article on Reddit.
-
Send to a Friend or EnemySend a link to this article to a friend or enemy via your e-mail client.
-
0Jump to CommentsJump down to the comments of this article.
The night before was filled with steamy passion and erotic desire as intrepid reporter Steven Cleamer had your mother last night.
Flirtatious advances had begun at approximately 3:15pm at a local bank where your mother was seen making a withdrawal. It would be several hours later that she would receive a plentiful deposit that would forever remark her body with the intense sexual bliss she had yearned for nearly a decade.
For the past several years, your mother had pondered a separation from your father as a result of diminished romance and inadequate family activities. The intense neglect and abysmal attention made your mother consider alternative means of pleasure interests, such as focus groups and lesbian encounters.
Prior to Steve having your mother, your mother resorted to sexual devices, chocolates, and hot baths multiple times a week in order to fill the constant void your father failed to address. Your mother was sexually deprived, her passionate and erotic desires locked away deep inside, rigid with anticipation and waiting to be freed.
There would be no friends, no bingo, and only two balls.
Around 7:30pm your mother told your father she was going to the bingo parlor with her friends in what was dubbed "a ladies night out." The thought of a group of women yammering and smoking was extremely unappealing to your father, who immediately disregarded any ill-conceived notions. However, your mother had different plans. There would be no friends, no bingo, and only two balls.
"I reckon I'mma have a hard time walkin' in the door when I git home!" your mother giggled after a few glasses of wine. She would be correct, as the evening would be filled with body contortions so wild and amazing, the subsequent muscular twitches after completion would make it look like she had Parkinson's disease.
The sexual knowledge and experience of your mother was quite astounding, as she performed the most incredible oral talents that even rivaled famed porn star Heather Brooke.
After four hours of a hefty, sweaty, and muscle-bending workout, your mother returned home and had the best night of sleep since before you were born.