The New Mental Discharge Has Arrived for Some Reason
We're back and better than never.
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Roughly two years before pandemics, riots, violence, and the rapid decline of trust in the media changed the world forever, Mental Discharge suffered its own devastating lockdown when a neighboring site's outdated WordPress installation was infiltrated by l33t hax0rs. Many sites on the server, including MD, were double-masked as a safety precaution to prevent the spread of replacement index pages littered with alternating caps and animated GIFs. The lockdown was only supposed to be temporary while the server as a whole attempted to recover. However, weeks became months and forgetting to reupload the site eventually took its toll.
MD had already been suffering from serious comorbidities, such as a lack of content and consistent updates, which were left untreated for quite some time. When it finally succumbed to its demise in March of 2018, the site was reduced to a mere single sentence stating it was dead. A small, virtual gathering took place to honor and remember the tens of articles that held MD together for over twenty years.
Pull quotes are neat. This article doesn't actually have any, but they still look good.
During the reign of the coof and the subsequent lull in its wake, time has finally been on my side. The result? MD is back online after a slow and meticulous rebuild from scratch, utilizing the latest techniques of poor posture and caffeinated beverage consumption. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of a burned down Wendy's, the site now breathes new life. Ancient articles dating back to a time when the Iraq war was heating up, online dating was mocked, and people wondered what the hell a Nigerian 419 was have been given facelifts the likes of Cardi B, Meg Ryan, and Mickey Rourke. Likewise, a bevy of fresh articles are currently in the works, baking in the oven in the hopes they look exactly as they're presented on their Hello Fresh cards.
Mental Discharge will always be a sandbox project and continue to push the envelope of being in the browser history of no more than four people for 24 hours. For now, this article will serve as a place for information and updates on the site as it grows again from a malnourished preemie to a full-grown neck-bearded Twitch streamer living in his mother's basement.
If you were a member of MD as far back as 2010, your account is still here. Simply attempt to log in, fail to remember the password you had, reset said password, and hope the e-mail address you used back then still exists. You can always contact me if you need your e-mail address updated. Don't worry, the aforementioned hack didn't spread to MD and we hash passwords with salt, vinegar, a touch of sage, and olive oil.
Whether you're old-school MD or have arrived here for the first time, enjoy some classic Mental Discharge favorites such as Kawk Rings by Tad, Anal Beads are for Fat, Lazy, Stupid People, and Parking Lesson Leaflets. Some articles have not aged well and will most likely get some George Lucas treatment at a later time, so enjoy them while you can.
To further enrich your experience, you can join MD's "Moron Nation" community and post comments, follow other users, collect achievements, create a Moron Nation Citizen License, and more. It's the most fun you can have wasting your time browsing a site that currently has less relevance than a dead Twitter account with no followers, yet is literally older than virtually the entire Internet as you know it today.
Over the next few months, MD will also simultaneously launch old, lost content. Along with stimulating the bowels of creativity to ensure fresh material makes its way to the proverbial colon, I'll also be uploading forgotten pieces going as far back as 2002, long before your parents started charging you rent. Site design and tweaks are still underway as the current index page is a temporary placeholder and menus are somewhat troublesome on tablet devices. Contact me if you've discovered a bug and if you're interested in contributing content or writing, send me some sample work to snort.
Welcome back to Mental Discharge. We're glad you're here.